Gaius Baltar

Head!Gaius
Gaius
[Gaius' thoughts]
*Head!Six*
--------------------------------

Do you honestly believe this drivel that you spouting?

There's this dog, see...

Do you honestly believe this large hunk of metal cares? Are your powers of self-delusion so far embedded, Gaius, that you have truly convinced yourself that this machine cares about dogs and treats and GOD?

[but there is understanding, can't you see? can't you see how it responds? the tilt of it's head, the dawning realization of-]

Can't you see that it was simply sensing the oncoming danger? The missles, the explosions the gaping wound in your side? The one that has put you in a position where you now must put your sad, pathetic little life in the hands of Laura Roslin? She wanted you dead you know.

[but there can be understanding, there can...]

... access codes to the Cylons...

There is understanding, Gaius. She understands now that everything she dreamed about you was simply prophecy. Everything she thought she knew, your closely guarded secrets? Were just spoken from your lips to Laura Roslin's ears.

... I am the flood ...

And when the understanding comes, Gaius, she'll let us both die. Here, on this bench. I've got the guts to die, Gaius. What I want to know is, have you got the guts to live? With everything you've done?

What are you doing? Don't do this to me, please-

[she can't do this to me, she won't-]

She will. Laura Roslin has wanted you dead for years, Gaius. Who is here to stop her but her own mind and her own two hands?

[then stop talking to me and go bother her]

The subconscious message is the same, it's how it's delivered that matters.

[my own cryptic brain confuses me by allowing me to talk to myself as I'm dying... the height of narcissism]

*Love, Gaius, in all it's forms. God's love, love for oneself, love for others...*

[All you need is love?]

*She doesn't love you. But she'll save you.*

[I want to live. Without guilt.]

*So does she.*


Gaius Baltar
Battlestar Galactica
353 Words

... at least.

Yet another secret mission, courtesy of Laura Roslin. Summoned, as if saying 'no' were truly a possibility. The woman took power on End of Days One and hasn't looked back. She lives, breathes, thrives and will DIE on that power. At least I was elected. She just takes what she wants. First by chance and then by default.

She can have it. I don't want it. I've had enough of the Leader bit. I know my path now, truly. God's plan, and not just mine. He has one for all of us.

But Roslin, she says 'jump' and the rest of us, particularly me, say 'how high?'. After all, she is the Leader. Freaky visions or not, she must be respected at all times. Step out of line and who knows? You may find yourself in the wrong end of a jail cell. Or on the sad seat of a jumper. Her incomparably talented chief-of-staff is clearly just as ruthless when it comes to acquiring information. Her boss would be so proud, manipulating the manipulator.

So, a secret mission it is. Did she tell the quorum about her desire to speak to the Cylon's Hybrid? I'm guessing not. And yet, here we are. On the Baseship, with the Hybrid, the Eight and the Leoben. A few Centurions round out a good party and you'll never guess-

I mean, I was a little baffled myself. Laura Roslin, it turns out, might not command all and sundry.

After all, when the Hybrid says 'jump', the Baseship says 'how far?'.


____________
Gaius Baltar
Battlestar Galactica
272 Words

"If science teaches us anything, it teaches us to accept our failures, as well as our successes, with quiet dignity and grace."

Failure.

You've never failed in your life. Failing is not something that you're capable. You're a survivor. You feed off the success and favor that is due you.

[caprica . defense mainframe . twelve colonies]

You survive, dignity intact if somewhat broken. You know how to talk, and to whom. What to say, and when.

[to yourself . to her . to no one at all]

The scientist in you resumes your work. Whatever they need is what you will provide, even if it's just in name. If they ask, you will show smiles and graciousness.

[complaints . moaning . whining]

You rise to the top, to take your place among them. It's where you deserve to be. Your fall is not from without, but from within, for while you strive to be what you should, you cannot be better than what you are.

[coward . compliant . less]

They hold it against you. You knew they would, it's why you left. You wanted to be more, but in the end you could not rise above. You had to settle for acquittal of your sins.

[not guilty . is not . innocent]

You want to be innocent. You want to be like a child who comes unto God. You strive for just that and it comes, the simple acts of piety. The true belief eludes-

[can you feel God's presence?]

- even you. The dignity. The grace. The scientist is too far gone.


Gaius Baltar
239 Words
Battlestar Galactica

Forty thousand samples. To be exact, forty-seven thousand, nine hundred five.

A little over eleven hours to test each sample.

That, for anyone paying close attention, equals a little over sixty years to complete the Cylon testing that Adama and Madam President want done.

Not including sleeping, eating… time to myself.

When you throw in those that want their samples done right frakking now, you end up with more problems than you could possibly imagine. Believe me.

You have the President wanting to test the Commander without his knowledge and the Commander wanting to test the Colonel’s long lost wife without the good Colonel’s knowledge. All in all, quite the fascinating time, especially when it all comes to a boil and the showdown erupts in your lab.

I can’t decide if sarcasm becomes me.

Needless to say, none of that was a good time for me. I mean, none of that was a good time for THEM. Of course. And since our main concern has to be for the good of the Colonial government and the Fleet as a whole, one does what they can to lighten the load of those higher up.

You round up the usual suspects.

With the higher-ups out of the way, the people could feel at ease with their leaders and really, that was all that mattered. What was one little Cylon model compared to the comfort of all involved?

PS: If you need more on THAT, please see my previous entry and any others that I may have written (or will write in the future) that center around my self-preservation. Honestly, I had no desire to see her Cylon programming hit ‘on’ early. And frankly, that was best for ME. And between you and me? That’s what I’m concerned about.





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Gaius Baltar
Battlestar Galactica
Word Count: 296

Danger strikes even when things aren't fine. Danger strikes whenever it frakking feels like it.

Do you see them? The Centurions? They haunt the streets and intimidate my people. *harsh laugh* MY people. They were never MY people, were they? Hell, ask THEM when danger strikes. I was the danger, it seems. It seems that I, Gaius Baltar, was the danger that struck when things were fine.

*takes a gulp of his drink*

Things were better than fine, right? New planet, new start? New president to go with and look at how things got all mucked up. I did the mucking.

[LOCKED]

It was just a FEW women and only a LITTLE drinking. Maybe a FEW cigars. But who wouldn't be celebratory for a week or two. Maybe a month... ish? Two? I had just won the PRESIDENCY. I was ENTITLED to be happy. Excited. And, like I said, CELEBRATORY. The mucking was unintentional. Then THEY were there and-

[/LOCKED]

*a long sigh*

Danger doesn't follow a set schedule. It strikes whenever it wants and gives a hot damn about reputations or plans or the weather. And usually brings with it overbearing mechanical beings with a severe lack of a sense of humor.

*another drink*

And those are the humanish ones.



==============
Gaius Baltar
Battlestar Galactica
230 Words
[from the 'New Caprica' era]

"BUTTERFINGERS!"

Gaius stared across the wide [so small it was crushing] courtroom, absolutely boggled and stunned [not at all surprised, really] at the man seated [perched high] on his seat. He could feel the eyes of those around them volleying back and forth [boring a hole deep into the back of his brain], trying desperately to keep up with the shouting.

The man [boy, child, infant] that sat there with his smirk of satisfaction made Gaius ill. For one so practiced in the art of redirection [manipulation and deceit] as he was, the nausea made his stomach rock.

Lies, blatant and rancid, struck at his core. He, Gaius Baltar, was many things: Scientist, Ex-President, Hard worker [liar, deceiver, manipulator, critic,], but he was not a murderer. Of course, when one is the things listed, tacking on murder [mass genocide] is just a small leap, really. One the people are ready [and oh, so willing] to believe.

After all, who is more honest? The horrid President who did nothing right [whoring, drinking, lying] or his faithful right-hand man, who saw all?

In the end, the judge and jury are not the public [and yet they are]. The panel seated even higher than the perjurer look down and the disapproval are even greater in their eyes than in anyone else's.

Except his. When Gaius betrayed him first.


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Gaius Baltar
Battlestar Galactica
230 Words